One Step at a Time [5/7, during the ball, Larson and Nessa, Closed]

[Nessa Montrose]

She was losing herself again, as she found it so easy to do when he was this close. There wasn't enough of her mind functioning for her to even know where her hands were or what they were doing, but that, thankfully, didn't backfire too badly for her; one of her hands had gone to the side of Larson's head, holding him close while her fingers wove into his hair, and her other hand was simply gripping onto whatever bit of his shirt was handy. She shifted a little, turning more toward him on the bench while still staying pressed against him.

And then, slowly, an unpleasant thought tickled the back of her mind. It was easily ignored at first, but then she began to process what was actually happening. She felt his hand travel from her knee, higher, higher, until finally she realized just where he was headed. As quickly as if she'd been hit by lightning, Nessa swatted his wandering hand and was up on her feet, turned to face him from some distance away. It took her a moment to come back to her senses, but when she did she wasn't sure what to feel. She'd liked it, of course, but it wasn't right for them to be getting this close. And if he felt the need to ask her before he kissed her, surely feeling her up required the same sort of verbal communication, at least for now.

She crossed her arms in front of her, more so they wouldn't fidget than anything, and shook her head. Her voice was a little more unsteady than she'd hoped, but she found it easy to ignore that. She found herself unsure of what to say, her words not nearly as clear as was ideal. "I...it's not...my father would absolutely kill us..."

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

Great! He started out pretty awesome, but when she slapped his hand, he became aware of what he was doing. She crossed the small area and began to talk and he was left straddling the bench, horrified with what he'd done.

"I'm ... I'm so sorry Nessa, I was just ... I got carried away." He looked up and into the woman's eyes. "Will you forgive me?" he asked. His face did reflect something more than worry, maybe disgust in what he'd done, or horror as he didn't even know he was doing it?

Thelonius stood from the bench and had to turn his back to Nessa for a moment, as he was a bit disgusted with the semi erection he had obtained. He fiddled with his pants pockets, then searched around in his jacket pockets for a cigarette to cover it up.

He turned back to her as he lit his newly obtained distraction cigarette and his brows met in a furrow. What was he to do now? She looked terrified of him.

[Nessa Montrose]

She had been about to respond when he'd turned away from her. She wasn't angry at him...it had been as much her fault as it had been his. However, it wasn't just a case of propriety that had made her stop and jump away. She wasn't at all used to losing control like that, and it frightened her more than a little.

Arms still crossed over her chest, she watched his back as he searched in his pockets. She wanted nothing more than to cross to him and wrap her arms around him, but so far that sort of thing had only gotten them in trouble. She waited until he turned back around to approach him, and when she did she reached out and took his free hand.

"Of course I forgive you," she said, as if it was never even a topic up for debate. And really, it wasn't; this was not even close to the worst thing that'd happened to her. They'd both gotten carried away. It wasn't something to get all kinds of angry over. "But maybe...for now we should stick to talking." She pulled his hand gently and led him back to the bench, sitting down and tugging him to sit down next to her. "I think it was my turn to ask you a question, if I'm not mistaken."

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

He smiled when Nessa said she forgave him. Thelonius was worried that she wouldn't, he certainly was disgusted with his behavior. As she led him back to the bench he stayed silent, yes talking was a good idea, and he sat down carefully to make sure his situation wasn't overly obvious.

She had forgiven him so easily, was it because she actually cared for him, she had to. No woman would be with him this way if they didn't. He had to wonder if when Nessa learned more about him, even his secrets, if she'd still love him this much. Enough to forgive anything he did.

Raising his eyebrows Thelonius looked over to Nessa "It's your turn? Then ask me anything."

[Nessa Montrose]

Still holding onto his hand, she laced her fingers in with his, she placed her other hand on the other side of his, sandwiching it between her own and then resting them on her knee. "Anything, hmm?" She smiled, perhaps mischievously. She didn't ask her question right away...no, she let him squirm a little, his anticipation punishment for getting too grabby.

Every question she could think of ran along a certain theme. She didn't want to encourage him, but she could think of little else. "I'm going to make an assumption here that may perhaps be unfair," she said as a bit of warning. "so if I've assumed incorrectly, you have my deepest apologies." She paused again, and then continued with her question. "How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

Thelonius took a long drag from his cigarette, his right hand in hers, he was looking straight a head. He was still truly ashamed of himself, as highly as he thought of himself as a man, he allowed himself to get carried away too quickly. It's this girl! She'd asked him if she could ask anything and he simply nodded in response, though his left knee started to bounce, still pissed at himself for what he'd done he'd stay silent until he could answer her question.

How she'd phrased it, he glanced sideways at her, not moving his face too much. Closing his eyes, he knew this question was coming, but he didn't want to just say it. It would make him sound more awful than he already made himself look.

"I was fifteen." he answered quietly, flicking the ash from the end of his cigarette. "She was the wife of an elderly lord, almost thirty." Thelonius finally turned his face to Nessa, "She made me who I am, sexually." He squinted.

It was dark now, there were torches all around they had been lit all night and now finally burned with purpose now that the sun had set. He could see a shadow cast across his companions face, and he'd hoped that maybe he'd have the same shadow that would conceal all of his.

[Nessa Montrose]

"Fifteen?" She found it hard to believe, but it was different with boys. She tried not to think about her siblings...her brothers were old enough to be doing things of that nature, and it was just not something she could think about. But at the same time, she knew that men were known to start much earlier than that, too...if she were honest, she'd admit that she'd thought Larson would have started earlier than he did.

She hadn't realized that the question would have had such a heavy answer. "That...wasn't the answer I'd expected," she said, trying to keep any reproach from her voice. "A lord's wife? Really?" He started out right as an accessory to adultery...there was more of a story to this, so she was trying to not judge him, but it just sounded terrible. And what did he mean when he said she'd made him who he was? Did he still function solely on her influence? That sounded worrisome.

The torches flickered shadows over his face, so she couldn't quite see his exact expression. For her part, she kept her face curious and careful, keeping any harshness out. The last thing she wanted to do was make him feel worse about something that clearly wasn't a good time for him. "I...don't want to make you talk about something unpleasant, but I can't help but be curious for what's obviously a more complex situation."

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

He knew that with the answer he gave there would have to be more of an explanation, especially for her, she'd want to know where he'd been before she'd allow herself to be another mark on his map. As he thought of how to put this together as an explanation, he ignored how obviously taken aback she was with his response, if she knew the other half of the story ... she'd probably walk away now.

Thelonius hadn't ever had this conversation aloud before, he looked straight forward and adopted a matter-of-fact tone, he had no idea how to deal with it otherwise.

"She was a terrible woman, she convinced me to do a lot of things I never would have done at that age. Then to top it all off she blackmailed me." He took a drag from his cigarette. "I mean the first few times it was fun, but I wanted nothing to do with destroying a family, however she didn't happen to care what I wanted. Told me that if I broke it off she'd tell her husband I raped her."

Flicking ashes off to his left away from Nessa, he felt that she still had her fingers between his, that was a good sign that she hadn't pulled away from him yet.

"She died, terrible horseback riding accident, when I was 19 almost 20." he shrugged, obviously his heart wasn't broken over the situation. "I haven't trusted a woman since." His lips, he could feel them tighten into a thin line, but found himself looking down to his hand in Nessa's lap. "That is until now .... until you."

[Nessa Montrose]

Nessa made sure to meet his eyes as he began; this didn't seem easy or pleasant for him, and she knew it would be important that she be attentive. She listened patiently, but she found it hard to be passive. Her face transitioned between flashes of anger and sympathy. How could anyone have been so horrible? How could a grown woman take such advantage of someone who was barely more than a child?

"Good riddance," she said, venom temporarily in her voice. Even if she couldn't claim Larson as hers yet, he was absolutely her friend, and she didn't take lightly to anyone doing bad things to those she loved. Despite the fact that the event had happened in the past, she still found herself hating this woman.

However, the last thing he said killed any hatred she had been harboring in her heart. She squeezed his hand, unsure at first what to say to a statement like that. Leaning forward, she placed a simple, gentle kiss on his lips, staying close even as she'd pulled away. Placing her forehead against his, she nuzzled her nose against his, her eyes closed. "I'll do everything I can to be worthy of your trust."

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

Rubbing his thumb against the knee of his pants, keeping his cigarette far away from the fabric, he chuckled when she made her own opinion known. The gods knew she was a terrible woman, hopefully she was being tortured in the pits, Nessa never met her but she had the right idea.

At the squeeze of his hand Thelonius turned his gaze back to Nessa, he wore a halfhearted smile, but with her kiss his eyes smiled too. She didn't pull away, and he closed his eyes as she did, it was pleasant being so close to her. His heart felt at peace.

"I am not sure you're the one that must work for trust." he shook his head lightly, moving hers with his. "I have not been the kindest to some women, I have cast my fair share aside." taking a deep breath he continued. "Nessa, you make me want to be a better man ..."

[Nessa Montrose]

"If they knew what was behind it, nobody would be able to blame you. Having gone through what you did, it's no surprise you haven't treated every woman you've ever met well. If you judged every woman by that standard, if you weren't willing to change...it would be different. But I've seen nothing in the way you've treated me to convince me that you're untrustworthy." She pulled back, looking at him with a smile on her face. "A bit impulsive, perhaps...but not untrustworthy."

The more she thought about his situation, the more convoluted and awful it got. He couldn't really have gone for help, since her word would likely be believed over his, and she would have just accused him of rape. He couldn't stop, because then she'd blackmail him, and again, her word over his. He was third son, if she was remembering properly, so he wasn't high enough in succession to gain any sort of immunity. It was a situation where he'd been well and truly fucked, in every sense of the word.

"You say you're not sure I'm the one who has to work for trust, but to be truthful you've got almost nothing to work for. I already trust you..." she paused, freeing one of her hands and gesturing as she tried to find the words she wanted, "...with everything, really. Right or wrong, you already have my trust."

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

She was being very kind, he didn't want to argue with her, instead he took a drag from his cigarette again. Thank the gods for cigarettes, no one expects you to talk much when you have one!

The truth of the matter was, until he met Nessa he was fine with his habits. He had a regular Saturday girl who liked his habits just fine too! He hadn't, until now, wanted to change the way he lived his life. No man complained about getting laid every night of the week.

Thelonius decided to himself that he'd wait to give her his big secret, just in case her dad told him that he couldn't see her, this secret was the last thing he needed everyone to know. He simply looked back to Nessa, a sideways look, she was too trusting maybe?

"Impulse is my middle name." He said to break the topic. "So tell me, what do you do for fun? When you're bored and I mean real fun, not knitting ... don't say knitting." His brow furrowed and he gestured with his hands, knocking away the idea of knitting from the air.

[Nessa Montrose]

With darkness having fallen, it was easier to forget that there was a ball going on. This far into the gardens even the music was barely audible, and only the light from the multitudes of candles and chandeliers in the ballroom gave away that anything was going on. It gave a false sense of security, since it was easy to believe that everyone else would be wrapped up in the festivities, but it also made this conversation feel more intimate. The shadows made the space feel small, and being surrounded by hedges meant their voices did not echo off of anything. It was closed in, but not in a bad way; perfect for the sort of conversation they were having.

Since they had moved deeper into the garden, the servant hadn't been back with fresh drinks for them. It normally wouldn't have been a problem, but all the talking, on top of everything else, had made Nessa quite thirsty. Thankfully, she was almost always prepared for such an event. Without even needing to look at what she was doing, Nessa tucked her hand into the topmost layer of skirt and pulled out her trusty flask. If Thelonius could have his distraction cigarette, after all, she could certainly indulge in a drink. She opened the flask and took a quick drink, closing her eyes to savor the slow burn.

Her finger absently traced the engraved house crest on the flask as she listened to Larson change the topic, and she smirked when he asked his question, taking another small drink before offering the flask to him. "Oh, see, now is when you learn my horrible truth: I'm incredibly boring." She laughed lightly, releasing his hand completely to brush a lock of hair from her face. "I do knit," she said, smirking at him, "and I like reading. See, I'm so exciting!"

She shrugged, suddenly feeling a little awkward talking about herself. "I like to go horseback riding...that might be the most exciting thing. I like to bake, I spend a lot of time with my sister...although I'm not sure anyone else would consider that real fun." She let her voice trail off, her gaze on the ground some distance in front of her. He was going to think she was the most boring creature ever now...

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

When Nessa pulled out her flask, Larson looked down, he knew she had it but it shocked him again. Was she the woman for him or what!? "Thank you ... ah but you knit. That may be the deal breaker." He had to tease, else the mood would be far too serious for him. He took a drink from the flask and handed it back. "Unless you're a drunken knitter, we may be able to work something out!"

"You enjoy horseback riding though and that's a good thing!" he smiled to Nessa. "Now we just have to roll you in the mud and you'll fit right in!"

Thelonius finally found his cigarette to be a bit past useful and tossed it out in the grass just beyond the stone. "So do you have anything else you'd like to know about me?"

[Nessa Montrose]

"If knitting's the only thing I do when drunk, I would be a lucky woman indeed," she said with a laugh. She didn't usually drink to that point, but she did have some interesting stories from the times that she had. Usually she was safe and just went to bed early or, as she mentioned, knitted (in which case all the work she did while drunk would have to be taken out in the morning and redone), but there were a few times she'd went wandering, to somewhat disastrous ends. Those stories, though, were for a later time.

"If knitting is a deal breaker for you, being rolled in mud might just be a deal breaker for me." She smirked, knowing full well that there were situations in which she could see herself getting covered in mud and enjoying herself while doing so, but even so, she wasn't about to make it sound like it would be a thing she'd be okay with right off the bat. "If that's the sort of girl you go for, I have to wonder why you've gone for me this time."

She took another small sip of her flask before tucking it away again, buried safe in the layers of her skirts. "There are many things I'd like to know about you," she said, looking up into the sky as she spoke. She wanted to know what he did for pleasure, how he got on with his family, what his favorite thing to paint was, what his favorite colour was. She wanted to know how he looked very late at night, when the moon was at its highest. She wanted to know what he looked like in the morning, just as he woke up. She wanted to know what he looked like naked. She wanted to know if he snored.

However, there was plenty of time to learn these things, hopefully some first-hand. She had to ask him something, though, and the first thing that popped into her head was the thing she asked: "What's your favorite kind of cake?"

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

Well he'd already been grabby with her, so he might as well speak his mind, be himself. "Then you've never gotten drunk with me, you'd be luckier, and you wouldn't be knitting." He was grinning, so she had to know he was teasing her. Though, there was a part of him that knew he was only sort of joking, or ... not joking at all.

"Women who are dirty and wet? No I have no idea what I'd see in them." At that moment he took in a sharp breath, that was a bit too far. "I'm sorry, I got carried away." He winced, hoping he wouldn't get slapped. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend ...."

Thelonius stood and attempted to hunt down another cigarette. She said she wanted to know more and he nodded. "Ask away." But he didn't expect a question about cake. He finally got his hands on another cigarette and lit it before answering. "Chocolate, generally." he smiled, confused, why was that a question she'd ask? "Why? What's your favorite?"

[Nessa Montrose]

My my, now wasn't he just being saucy. She grinned right back at him, not ruffled in the least. "I should hope I'd remember if I'd have gotten drunk with you before," she said, pausing to leave space for the unvoiced implication of 'unless you're all talk, that is'. When there had been just enough silence to be a little awkward, she leaned back, leaning on her arms, and continued. "We're both still young, though...we've got plenty of time to see just how much better than knitting getting drunk with you would be." It was a dangerous promise, but Nessa knew deep in her heart that if she was denied a match with Larson, she would go to him anyway. It was that strong of a pull to him, that she knew she wouldn't be able to keep away.

She raised her eyebrow, looking at him sideways as he made a comment and then apologized profusely. Ignoring his apologies, she shrugged, her expression making it clear that she wasn't offended in the least. "I suppose...but my mother did warn me about sticking bits of me into dark, filthy places. You never know what's living there, after all." Out of context the remark would have sounded completely normal, but in this context....well, she was pretty good at double meanings. Truly, though, she was only teasing; she could hardly blame him for that, when she did so much like watching men training, especially if it was raining.

"That's hardly something to use your next question on, so you'll get a freebie. I'm not sure if I have a favourite cake, but if I had to choose it would probably be chocolate cake with vanilla frosting. The other way 'round is quite good, too." Her hand reached up to her throat, and she started to fiddle with the chain around her neck. "Now what's your real next question?"

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

He nodded, he'd been told that he was unforgettable, he'd also been told he was lousy. At the mention of plenty of time, Thelonius grinned, "Darlin' I have all the time in the world." But she wasn't offended at his comments, oh boy was this girl fun or what? "I never did listen to my mother much. Though I do take my time to explore new, dark, filthy places before I jump right in. Just to make sure there's nothing scary, anything with teeth ..." He grinned at her, of course he couldn't fail to comment, though the reminded him of a conversation about toothed lady bits. No one would mess with them if they had teeth down there too, though then he'd wondered how many men would like it?

She'd answered his question about cake, but not why she'd asked, only the flavor she liked most. His gaze narrowed, maybe he'd ask her a personal question now. "How far have you been with a man?" He was quiet now, his face showed no emotion, he just waited.

[Nessa Montrose]

"Well, at least you're careful then," she said with a shrug. "I suppose it's always best to make sure there are no other inhabitants before entering such spaces yourself. Especially if there's an option that involves teeth." Teeth? Gods, she didn't want to know what kind of women he spent his time with, or what stories he'd been hearing. Teeth was a new one to her.

His question was nothing like what she had been expecting, although she could hardly fault him for asking. It wasn't like she hadn't asked him some deeply personal things, too. She could almost feel him looking at her, although her gaze was directed pointedly to the ground a few feet ahead of her. Men had often tried to figure out the answer to this question before; for some reason it was a topic of heated debate. She guessed the curiosity stemmed from her frankness; men in pubs weren't used to a woman who could talk about the lewder things in life without having experienced them to great extent.

"How far is it from here to Arbrecht?" She chuckled, but the joke was a bit weak. Not being able to evade the question was making her terribly nervous. Adding to that was the question: did he mean willingly, or otherwise? And did she draw the distinction herself, and open herself up to more questions?

She stayed silent for a moment, and then looked up at him, forcing herself to meet his eyes. "Willingly? About as far as we just did. Otherwise...a little further." She would leave it like that for now, and deal with any further questions later.

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

Thelonius chuckled at her comment, it would be quite awful, she was right. She paused for a bit too long after he'd asked his question and Larson held his breath. What was she about to tell him? If she wasn't a virgin he could handle that but what if it was worse than that?

At her joke, he chuckled, though her laugh was weak. It was her final response, that had him leaning forward and away from the column. His brow furrowed as he approached Nessa and slowly sat back down to her left.

"Willingly? Otherwise?" With his cigarette in his left hand, he took her hand with his right. "Nessa, what happened?"

[Nessa Montrose]

Well, that was one way to get a conversation to go from casual to concern in one swift moment. Nessa regretted having said anything instantly...why couldn't she have just lied? It wasn't as if anyone needed to know the truth of the situation. It had happened, and she'd dealt with it, and that was it. Only it wasn't, because now she had to explain.

Nessa shrugged, trying to take some weight off the subject. She spoke with a similar frankness as he had when he told of his unfortunate past encounters. "It's not as bad as it sounds. There was one pub a little ways from home that I used to go to every so often." Gods, Nessa, way to make yourself sound like a classy woman... "They didn't really know who I was there, you see, so nobody really asked questions. There...was a man there who decided that since I was a woman at a pub I had intentions other than simply having a pint or two." Did she really have to go on with this? But he had been so honest with his past, she felt like it would be selfish to keep her own secrets hidden. "I was not unclear in my rejection, but he didn't really take no for an answer after as much as he'd had to drink. He followed me as I left for home."

She could picture the night clearly, although she had long ago come to terms with what had happened. "He was quite a bit larger than me, so it wasn't hard for him to catch me. He...well, suffice to say he tried to take liberties, but I managed to get away before he got too far. I think I ended up breaking his nose, too, but I didn't stay long enough to see. I had screamed just before getting away, and the night watch showed up and took him away, but whether it was just back home or somewhere else I'm not sure. Needless to say, I didn't go back there again."

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

Larson's eyes narrowed as he listened to her story. He found nothing wrong with anything Nessa had done. She didn't ask to be attacked, how dare this man try to force her himself on her.

"Did he hurt you?" Noticing that he started to raise his voice, he took a deep breath, counted back from ten, it may have been noticeable by Nessa but he didn't care. "Do you know of the man? What his name was? What others called him?"

Thelonius may have, just then, come up with a plan to kill this offensive animal. He did it in his head, restoring Nessa's honor, not that she lost any. She broke the man's nose to be honest, but in his head, the man surviving was offensive enough for Nessa.

[Nessa Montrose]

Nessa could see where this was going just from the tone, and volume, of Larson's voice. "He didn't hurt me, no...not in any major way. I got a bump on my head from being pushed against a wall, and I think I skinned my elbow on the brick? I don't remember, honestly, it was some time ago." She shook her head at his next few questions, though. "I don't know what his name was, nor did I know of him before or after the incident. He was just one of the men who was in the pub sometimes, one of the faces you don't ever notice." Surely he would know the sort she spoke of.

She realized his hand was still holding hers, and she squeezed his fingers. "It's okay, really. I mean, no, it's not okay at all, but I was fine and intact, and it's been years. He's probably been killed by his drinking by now, or at least is old enough that he can't hurt anyone else."

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

He listened to her talk, eyes moving from her lips up to her eyes and back again. When Nessa squeezed his fingers he furrowed his brow. She must have had plenty of time to get over the situation.

"It's not okay," he shook his head as he talked. "but it won't happen again. And if by chance he isn't dead, and you see him again, you'll let me know. Then I'll make him wish he was dead." Thelonius didn't give her room to argue, he just told her what was going to happen and then waited for her to confirm she understood.

[Nessa Montrose]

"I'll be sure to tell you if I see him again," she said, smirking. Fat lot of good it would do him, if he was at his home and she at hers. In that case she wasn't even sure she'd tell him, even though she said she would. What good would it do? It would just serve to dredge up bad memories. No, she didn't intend on going back to that town again in her life, so the chances of seeing that man again were very, very small.

She wasn't really sure where to go from here. Looking over, she noticed his cigarette was about ready to ash all over his shoe, and she reached over and took it from his fingers, flicking the ash into the bushes behind them before taking the last drag. After all, he was allowed a distraction cigarette, so why shouldn't she be? The tobacco now spent, she brushed out the cinder onto the stone the bench was sitting on and tossed the butt end off into the bushes.

"Nobody knew of this whole thing..." she said quietly, looking out into the flickering pools of darkness where the torchlight didn't quite reach. "Nobody really even knew that I went to that town, much less what I was doing. They wouldn't have minded, but..." She could only imagine the chaos that would have reigned if any member of her family had learned what had happened. "To this day you're the only one I've told." Well, she'd told her mother's grave, but that didn't quite count, and she didn't really need to sound more pathetic than she did already.

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

Nessa was blowing him off, he could tell by the smirk she wore. His lips made a thin line and he leaned back counting down from ten again and rubbing the bridge of his nose. This woman was going to be the death of him, in so many more ways than she probably knew.

She'd taken his cigarette from him and tossed it away, it was finished, but he was still a bit bitter that she didn't take him seriously. It didn't really matter though did it? You could hear the trickle of water off in the distance, there may have been a small pond or fountain, but it filled the silence along with the music in the air. That was until Nessa started to speak again.

"mmhmm" was his only response for a moment, he didn't look at her, just towards the noise of the moving water. So not even her father knew? That's an ugly deal, but he understood why no one would want to tell that story. She was at a pub, she fought back and injured a man, well those aren't very lady like. No matter how freely one's family allows it's members to live, if there were to be a threat on a member, well that freedom would be taken away just as fast as it was given.

"I won't speak of it." He said abruptly, still quiet though, it was sort of a blurt to fill the silence with words. He was still attempting to make it past seven.

Ten ... nine ... eight ...

[Nessa Montrose]

He...was way more angry than she thought. It was almost a little frightening...the way his lips were pressed to closely together, how she could see his jaw flex as he clenched his teeth. She wasn't sure how to proceed...she had confessed to one of her deepest secrets, and now he was angry with her?

Suddenly very self conscious, she wrapped her arms around her torso. He wasn't even looking at her..."Thank you," she said, almost a whisper. She turned away, unable to face him while he was so obviously avoiding her gaze. She wasn't even entirely sure what she'd done to gain his anger. Was it because she hadn't taken him seriously enough? Like she would want anyone she cared about to commit violence on her behalf? That wasn't the way she would want someone to show their devotion to her, that was for sure.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice only loud enough to carry to him, all of the fire drained out of it. "If I ever find myself back in that town, and if I see him, I'll tell you."

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

Thelonius noticed her tone, then counting had nothing to do with him anymore, he snapped out of his anger when he'd realized what he'd done. He turned to her quickly, brow still furrowed, and took her hands in his.

"I'm sorry Nessa, I just have a problem with my temper sometimes, it's harder to control when I've been drinking. I .." he trailed off for just a moment and closed his eyes, "I'm sorry. I swear I'm not always so easily angered. It's just ... I mean you can understand why I'd be a bit unhappy to hear this from you ..."

He wasn't actually trying to justify himself was he? He had no idea, his head was starting to ache, didn't that mean that he needed to get back to drinking? Usually, yeah, it did.

[Nessa Montrose]

So he had temper issues, huh. Well, that was a nice thing to learn sooner rather than later. It wasn't anything she hadn't dealt with before, though...especially when the anger seemed to come hand in hand with alcohol. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep her own temper in check. It would have felt wonderful to tell him off, but it would have done more harm than good.

"It's alright," she said, her voice still quiet, almost resigned. His reaction was exactly one of the ones she had always feared, and part of why she had stayed silent until now. "I can understand where your reaction came from, but it would have been nice if my wishes were considered." Okay, so maybe she couldn't avoid telling him off at least a little. "I know what happened to me was wrong, and I understand the revenge instinct. Trust me, I spent days afterwards thinking of all the ways I could cause him pain. It just isn't worth it. And even if it were, I will not have anyone I love bloodying their hands in my name. Not over something as long past as this."

She didn't even realize that she had more or less said that she loved him. It had flown by her lips without a thought, her heart driving her words more than her mind.

[Thelonius Larson DeLauncey]

Her voice hadn't changed. He'd fucked this up more than he'd thought and sorry wasn't going to fix it this time. Thelonius bit his lip, looked down to his shoes as she told him off. He deserved it, it wasn't like he could do anything anyways, he had no right to get revenge on her behalf. Who was he? Just some dick ... apparently. Well, at least that's how he was acting.

Since she was not too thrilled with him, and didn't react to him taking her hands in his, he pulled away and stood from the bench. "I apologize, Lady Montrose, my intentions were not to offend. It is beginning to get chilly, shall we rejoin those inside?" He needed a glass of water.

Thelonius wasn't going to be a complete cunt, he still offered her his arm if she wished to take it and he hoped she would. Though, if she didn't want him to escort her back through the doors, he'd understand completely he was obviously not doing very well tonight.